Ever since I started my master’s program in occupational therapy, I’ve been a bit daunted by the overwhelming amount of presentations. Public speaking has always been a struggle for me and last semester was filled with lots of dreadful, heart-pumping, anxiety-provoking moments. There’s one presentation in particular where I literally thought I was going to pass out. Yes it was that bad. Yikes. This semester though, I sought to conquer those fears or lessen them at the very least. Those feelings of dread crept up on me a couple weeks ago when my group just so happened to be the first presentation of the semester. Although I began looking at the presentation date as doomsday, I soon started becoming familiar with my topic. After completely digesting the info and composing a Powerpoint, I started practicing my speech. And practicing. And filming myself. And getting more familiar with the material. By the time doomsday came around, I wasn’t so nervous anymore. Now I wouldn’t say I was looking forward to the presentation but miraculously I got up there and I was calm, cool, & confident. I felt like I had nailed the project, a feeling I hadn’t at all experienced during the first semester. And that feeling was empowering. It made me think about the last several years of my life and how afraid I was of making a change, facing fears, and getting out of my comfort zone. Although I struggled often last semester, there was a lot of strength that came out of that struggle and for that I am grateful. My plan going forward is to get comfortable being uncomfortable because this is where the magic happens.

Grad school started back up again last week and so did the anxiety. After having a blissful winter break full of indulging in my favorite occupations, the onset of those anxious feelings felt rather foreign. Last semester, I was so focused on doing well in school that the rest of my life fell by the wayside. I’m hoping that this semester, I can employ more balance in my life to help curb the anxiety and remember who I am & what makes me happy. I’ve realized that I’ve become a bit of a perfectionist which lends itself to a rigid, black-or-white thinking mentality. Here’s to being kinder to myself, to being more flexible, and to finding calm among the chaos.