Category: Student Life

In Between

~ Carrie ~ Leave a comment

True to form, here I am 6 months later trying to write on this blog again. Life sure was busy since the summer ended and I resumed my duties as an OT graduate student, taking on a 3-month internship working at a school. But now that has ended and here I am, trying to find joy and inspiration in my downtime before I start my final internship (who knows when that will be, thank you COVID).

This in-between is a struggle for me. It’s uncomfortable. I’m sort of a dormant student right now and not yet an employee and while I absolutely love my role as a mom, my identity has always been closely tied with productivity, hard work, meeting goals, and making that $$$. So I come back to writing because it makes me feel sorta accomplished. Maybe I just need something tangible besides a happy baby and a clean house to show I’ve still got it and I can contribute something to the universe.

So let’s give this blog another go and where it takes me…

Start Here

~ Carrie ~ Leave a comment

It’s been almost a year since I’ve written here and my life, along with the world, has changed quite a bit. Pre-COVID-19, I would have been on the verge of starting my first fieldwork II placement and most likely filled with lots of anxiety and a tiny bit of excitement. However, due to the circumstances, I, like many of my classmates have had a cancellation of my internship. Although I was initially pretty bummed, I’ve now realized that having a slow summer is exactly what I needed, especially after a grueling 2 years of graduate school (during which I also managed to have a baby- more on that later!)

I’ve been relishing the slowness and while I love spending my days watching my daughter grow, experimenting with new recipes, and organizing our home, I tend to feel rather listless at night. Perhaps it’s because the future is so unknown and I’m a control freak who is now left with lots of uncertainties. So, rather than continuing with my recent bad habit of aimlessly scrolling through my phone for hours at night, I thought I’d be a good (future) occupational therapist and revisit some of my long lost occupations.

I’ve always loved to write and be creative so I’m hoping this will serve as a creative outlet and overall fun space to retreat to. I’ll start here and see where it takes me…

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Comfort Zones

~ Carrie ~ Leave a comment

Ever since I started my master’s program in occupational therapy, I’ve been a bit daunted by the overwhelming amount of presentations. Public speaking has always been a struggle for me and last semester was filled with lots of dreadful, heart-pumping, anxiety-provoking moments. There’s one presentation in particular where I literally thought I was going to pass out. Yes it was that bad. Yikes. This semester though, I sought to conquer those fears or lessen them at the very least. Those feelings of dread crept up on me a couple weeks ago when my group just so happened to be the first presentation of the semester. Although I began looking at the presentation date as doomsday, I soon started becoming familiar with my topic. After completely digesting the info and composing a Powerpoint, I started practicing my speech. And practicing. And filming myself. And getting more familiar with the material. By the time doomsday came around, I wasn’t so nervous anymore. Now I wouldn’t say I was looking forward to the presentation but miraculously I got up there and I was calm, cool, & confident. I felt like I had nailed the project, a feeling I hadn’t at all experienced during the first semester. And that feeling was empowering. It made me think about the last several years of my life and how afraid I was of making a change, facing fears, and getting out of my comfort zone. Although I struggled often last semester, there was a lot of strength that came out of that struggle and for that I am grateful. My plan going forward is to get comfortable being uncomfortable because this is where the magic happens. IMG_6142.JPG

Grey

~ Carrie ~ 1 Comment

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Grad school started back up again last week and so did the anxiety. After having a blissful winter break full of indulging in my favorite occupations, the onset of those anxious feelings felt rather foreign. Last semester, I was so focused on doing well in school that the rest of my life fell by the wayside. I’m hoping that this semester, I can employ more balance in my life to help curb the anxiety and remember who I am & what makes me happy. I’ve realized that I’ve become a bit of a perfectionist which lends itself to a rigid, black-or-white thinking mentality. Here’s to being kinder to myself, to being more flexible, and to finding calm among the chaos.